


Who Cares

by phunWorks



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcoholism, Depression, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Insomnia, Loss, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:03:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11710248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phunWorks/pseuds/phunWorks
Summary: He lays on the couch. He drinks. When he dreams, he dreams of death.





	Who Cares

It was late, Tyler didn't have to look at the clock to know that. The cars out his window had become few and far in between, the sound of his neighbors dissipated into silence and the sounds from Jenna's TV were no more. Her movie must have stopped and she'd fallen asleep before it had ended, as Tyler could still see the light protruding from the hallway. He was on the couch and in darkness, save their bedroom TV light. Not that this was unusual, he'd taken to sleeping on the couch for the past month. Initially, Jenna had shown concern over the matter which then turned into hurt and frustration. Now, she just didn't challenge Tyler's resolve to rest sleeplessly on the old torn sofa. It wasn't just at night, it was every time he got off work to enter their small one-bedroom apartment. He'd enter the fridge, pull out a six-pack, lay on the couch in silence and drink until it was gone. Alcohol put him to sleep but never kept him there. After two or three hours, Jenna opening the door would wake him and he'd have to get another six-pack out of the fridge. She'd argue with him, try to tell him to quit drinking and talk to her. He only answered with silence. He had nothing to say, knowing anything he did would only upset her further. Besides, he had to protect her from his thoughts, feelings... him. He wasn't good for her and he just couldn't tell her that enough because she always denied it. The worst part of her was him. Why couldn't she see that?

Tyler sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes and then running his hands through his sweat soaked hair. The floor below his feet only made him cringe. Every time his feet touched the ground after waking, he felt more of his soul sink through the carpet. More of his life drain from him. Soon there'd be nothing left. Nothing for him to hold onto. Nothing to get him to open his eyes in the morning. Tyler felt a lump in his throat amd swallowed it down. He wasn't going to cry.

No. He was going to drink.

He got up to his feet and went straight for the fridge. When this had first started getting bad, he would be nauseous from the idea of standing up that fast. Now, he didn't feel a damn thing. The fridge offered a cool blast of air that eased his hot skin. Only being in a t-shirt and gym shorts, he still felt like he was being suffocated by a sweatshirt. His eyes glanced down at the only six-pack left in the fridge with a sticky note attatched to it.

 

_Please stop after this and come to bed. I miss you and I love you._

_\- Jenna_

 

He felt the familiar sensation of a stone in his heart. It hung heavy on his mind, all of the things he was putting her through... all of this guilt. She didn't understand. How could she? He didn't tell her anything, least of all what happened. What he'd done....

No. He wasn't going to think about this. He pulled the beer from the fridge and walked back to the couch. His first bottle was opened and half gone before he even sat down. When he was finally sat back onto the sunken cushion, his eyes wondered over to the same place they always did. The three smiling faces stared back at him like they always did. And like he always did, he teared up and took another swig -- never breaking eye contact with the two dimensional eyes that stared back at him. 

The memory was still fresh. Them and Jenna on a vacation to the lake. All of the music and jokes on the way there. The camp fires and swimming. The practical jokes, like moving Josh's mattress into the lake and leaving him stranded in the large body of water.

Josh.... The best friend he would never see again. The best man he never would be able to return the favor for. 

Tyler finished off the bottle and moved for the next one. He didn't waste any time before he finished off that one and moved to the next. He knew what had to happen in order for them to come home. He knew what Josh had done back in Fallujah saved their lives. He knew how much Josh struggled with it at home. How much he contemplated.... Tyler tried to help. He tried... but it wasn't enough. 

Tyler finished off the third and chugged the fourth. Angrily, he opened the fifth one as his mind forced him to look back on that day... back on Josh's limp body, the chair below him kicked to the side. Tears ran down his cheeks as he finished and moved for his last beer. Half way done, the bottle crashed against the wall opposite the couch. Then, his face in his hands, he cried until he fell asleep and knowing full well it'd only be the same tomorrow.


End file.
